Coming to terms with what we find in ourselves can be painful. But if we can learn to sit with the raw pain of that self-discovery – if we can sit with and bear the uncomfortable feeling – that itself will soften our heart. It can makes us more humble. Because all of us are really quite vulnerable, when we speak to others unskillfully – from our reactivity- it’s all to easy to open up wounds.
~ Pema Chodren
Our lives have been altered with many of us still working from home while others have been given the green light to return while some have lost their jobs entirely. Uncertainty, fear, and this new change has many of us drowning in depression grasping at the last bit of hope while consuming ourselves with news reports hoping that our city reopens the places that once brought joy, peace, and that feeling of being grounded and rooted by Mother Nature.
A couple of weeks ago I allowed fear to overcome me with no word of when unemployment would take effect and knowing that my stimulus check was going elsewhere I broke down. In one moment I was flooded with deep-seeded negative emotions. I vented. I said things in anger – I simply allowed everything that I had grown to learn in the past three years to slip away in that one moment of fear.
But after the tears and after the brief breakdown a sense of calm washed over me. That’s when I told myself that I’m human and I acknowledged my fear. The fear of lack. The fear of loss of wages and the many what if’s that were now crossing my mind. “Have you ever been without?” my Divine guide asked. I sat in silence and recalled the many times that God, Spirit, the Universe took care of me in times of need. I was reminded that it’s okay to cry, to be in the moment of my emotions but that I needed to change the momentum of my present story…..the story of fear, the story of being without, the story of the past, the story of failure, because I knew staying in this place of fear, sadness and remembrance of the past that it was shifting my vibration to a lower frequency. I was reminded that everything was going to be okay and it was…..
The Tibetan Buddhist nun Pema Chodron once said, “When we speak from our own vulnerable good heart, what comes out of our mouth is more likely to be healing than divisive. Instead of making others feel bad about themselves, our speech can help them connect to what is best within themselves.” What a profound statement but what if we take this and turn it towards ourselves? So many of us right now our turning on ourselves in this time of seclusion and isolation. We need to remember that even though “our” world has changed Mother Earth needed to heal, we needed to heal. The best time for reflection is when there is silence. So during this time that we’ve been removed from the chaos and the noise of the outside world sit and honor yourself. We have been given time to just be present in our own life. To focus on what we always said we’d do if only we had time.
I could have stayed in a place of sadness, I could have turned on myself and drowned myself in horrible names for reacting the way that I did when I was in a place of fear and anger but that’s what FEAR wants us to do. To keep us prisoner in a dark, cold place deep within in our mind. I wasn’t going to allow that to happen again and neither should you.
Do you want to be fears bitch or do you want to make fear YOUR bitch? I know which one I’m choosing. During this time remember your power, remember your grace, but most importantly remember you are love. Do me a favor and go to your favorite place and just be present in the silence and honor your breath, honor your life, honor your journey…….honor YOU.
This is my favorite place where I get lost in the clouds above or the stars that blanket the nights sky. It’s where find my peace when our world is healing.
The power of love is here now
The power of now is here now
The power of you and me is here
To create magic on earth
Let the water wash away your tears
Let the fire burn away your fears
Let the wind blow into your life such faith and trust
Let the earth hold you, take care of you and nurture you.
~ Alexia Chellun