Learning to live a life free of judgment


Living a life without judgment is difficult but once you become aware of those moments that you find yourself in a place of judgment it’s your choice to stop or carry on.

It’s no surprise to anyone when I say that we’ve turned into a very judgey race. I myself would judge others all the time but I validated my reason for judging based on the hurt they caused me or others close to me or just simply on how my day was going. With the internet at our finger tips it has become so easy for those judgmental thoughts to come to the forefront of our mind instantly taking us on a very dangerous trip downwards into the rabbit hole of chaotic pandemonium.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung

In early 2018, I came across a book called Judgment Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein, this book seriously kicked my ass unlike any other book I’ve read. It makes you face your judgment head on, but it doesn’t stop there. It makes you dig deeper into the reason of your judgment, but when you think you’re done. You’re not. You are then instructed to expose the core reason behind your action which unveils the moment when the trigger to the judgment began…. leaving you exhausted but exhilarated. That’s when the true healing of self begins, it’s actually a very poignant moment one can truly experience.

Yes, we are human and we are definitely not perfect. From time to time I still find myself in moments of judgment especially when I come across a post on social media that I refer to “pity party” posts, we’ve all seen them, “Feel sorry for me, my life sucks, give me attention, show me I’m worthy.” and depending on the day that I’ve had, I’ll be honest I’m ready to jump down the rabbit hole head first and join in on the party and that’s when an internal buzzer goes off aka. my guides hitting me upside my head telling me to stay the course.  

Whenever I find myself going below a certain energetic vibration I’m alerted. I begin to check myself. I don’t scold or demean myself because what good would that do? I acknowledge the feeling behind the judgment and I ask myself some questions to get to the root of the judgment, am I jealous? am I coming from a place of ego? or am I coming from a place of hate?  

Once I internalize the judgment I remember that I may not know the full story and I then flip my judgment into a more positive/ high vibrating response. I noticed that once I started to incorporate this type of thinking into my daily routine I began to notice that I stopped judging others harshly.

“Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”  ~ A Course in Miracles

Think about the a time when someone judged you unfairly. How did that make you feel? How many times did you say :

  • If only they knew the whole story.
  • If only they knew what brought me to this point in my life.
  • If only they took the time to truly see me with love instead of hate.
  • If only they took the time to listen without judgment.    

In their eyes they have already created a story that fits what they want to see without even coming to us first. In order to break free of judgment we need to change our perception of ourselves and others. It’s important to remember that judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are. No matter what you do, people will always talk about you. Some will always question your judgment, some will always doubt you, so just smile and choose to live your life with joy and free of judgment.

3 thoughts on “Learning to live a life free of judgment

  1. Jaya Avendel says:

    Learning not to judge has been hard for me. I tend to role people into groups based on my first impression of them without leaving room for boundaries to be defied.

    I stopped judging and labeling people after I witnessed two parents, who I was positive were bad people, have the utmost patience with their lovely little son. I could tell they loved him. Sometimes it takes a reminder like that for life to show you it is time to be done judging and appreciate people for who they are.

    Liked by 1 person

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