“People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.”
~ Carl Jung
Those who dedicate their time and energy to do inner soul work on themselves is a true testament to their courage and over all strength. Anyone who has gone through this will agree that it will strip you down revealing every ounce of yourself, from the kind being that you are to those areas of you that possess darkness. Now, don’t misunderstand me – you won’t turn into some demonic creature clinging to the walls of your internal hell and that’s because you already have them within you that don pretty little names like – anxiety, depression, childhood trauma, fear, self-loathing, greed, abandonment issues, suicidal thoughts as well as many others.
Inner soul work isn’t a quick process, it can takes months – even years but it definitely can’t be done in a few days and most importantly no one else can do it for you. So, put your candles and spells away and cancel your appointment to your local Psychic who promises to clear all negative attachments connected to your inner soul. There’s only one person who can rid those demons that hide in the deep dark crevices of your being and that person is YOU.
Now, before I continue the use of candles, mantras, stones, crystal grids and spiritual workers can be of assistance during your soul journey but they are used as tools. With Reiki, yoga, meditation or chanting they can help you during or after those moments of self discovery.
Through out the last fifteen years I’ve been slowly picking away at certain aspects of my myself that needed healing but I really didn’t heed the call or for better words pay attention to all the signs that were being laid out for me until four years ago. Normally, something has to shake your world up pretty bad to make a change and in my case it was the demise of another marriage, leaving everything behind and renting a room from a lady who enjoyed watching her moldy dishes accumulate for weeks on end and then finally releasing a secret that I held for twenty years.
I knew it was time. I knew that God (Source, Spirit, Universe) had been setting this in motion for quite sometime. I was beaten, broken and tired. I was looking for some sort of spiritual guidance and I received it by one badass New Yorker who gave it to me straight. I can still hear Vida saying to me, “It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to be pissed off no one said you need to get over this right now and if people say that you have to, tell them to f*ck off. I want you to honor your feelings. I want you to deal with the truth for once. And the truth is, YOU’RE PISSED OFF. Be honest with yourself and then be honest with everybody else, then release your anger because it’s not healthy for you to say there.” and by there, she meant in the darkness.
That’s when my transformation started and the soul work began. Below are the steps that have helped me (and continue to help) with my inner soul work.
This step can be difficult but with persistence it can be done. No one really enjoys acknowledging their emotions and owning them.
- “What am I feeling?”
- “What is the thought that is causing that feeling?”
- “What do I feel when I believe this thought?”
- “Do I without a doubt know that the thought __________ is true?”
I’m feeling sad, disappointed, brokenhearted. This is how you feel.
It never fails, everyone abandons me once something better comes along. The cause to the feeling.
I feel worthless. Abandoned. Alone. No good. What I feel when I believe this thought.
Yes, I believe this to be true. It always happens. When we validate the feeling to be true.
Our thoughts create our reality. When a situation throws you off it’s important to take note. Acknowledgement is key but many of us just stay in the acknowledgment cycle. First, we continue to replay the situation in our mind, then we tell our close friends, co-workers and then anyone who will listen to our story. We are looking for validation to our feelings, we want cheerleaders to our pity party. But we need to leave the party eventually.
Inner Soul Work
This is the most important part to your healing and you may have to do it time and time again but it’s so worth it. When I catch myself upset, annoyed, sad or angry I think about these steps.
- Acknowledging what you’re physically feeling. Ex: Hurt, pain, fear, self-loathing.
- Recognizing what emotion is attached to that physical feeling.
- Acknowledging your surroundings and what thought brought on the feeling.
- Allowing yourself to fully experience your physical and emotional feelings without avoiding, distracting or suppressing them.
- Asking, “Why did I react that way?”
- Affirming, “I forgive myself, I accept myself, I love myself.” I can’t stress enough how important this is! Forgiving oneself can transform your life.
- Asking, “Is that really me?” In other words, is the thought, experience, discovery, personality trait, action or decision really “you?” or is someone else telling you who to be and how to act?
- Take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel the way you’re feeling. Don’t reject your physical or emotional sensations, instead, you give yourself permission to feel them.
- Once you have come down from your heightened emotions and wiped away your tears, ask yourself, “Why did I react that way when I saw that man/woman?” You keep asking this question to yourself until you get an honest response. And by honest I mean fully being honest with yourself. It’s time to own your truth.
- Begin to realize that you feel nervous and ashamed because you don’t want to admit to yourself that ________. Ex: you are the common denominator to why you are in and out of relationships. That you truly do have an anger problem. That you are sharp with your tongue. You find the same sex attractive. Whatever it is, it’s time to honor YOU.
- Open yourself to this discovery saying, “I forgive myself, I accept myself, I love myself” or whatever feels most honest to you. Then sit with that for a while, feeling the words stimulate feelings of acceptance.
I kept a journal and spent many hours deep in meditation going within to heal certain aspects of myself. I cried and I cried some more. I faced my demons and with that I honored myself. I will be honest with you some people will not like this new you, because they can no longer trigger you, manipulate you, push your buttons. They will state that you have changed and are no longer the person they recognize.
Damn straight you’re not. Remember, you have worked too hard and shed too many tears to have someone bring you down.