Now serving: Ego

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How many of us get caught up in feeding the ego of our partner, friend or associate? Their constant need for praise and validation becomes priority over everything else, including ourselves.

Looking back, I noticed that I fell into the cycle of feeding the beast many times over especially in my past relationships. I looked at it as, if the beast was fed than all would be well, I’d be loved and by throwing praise from the shadows, I remained unharmed.

I’m not certain of the day, but I was tired of living life in the shadows and I was damn tired of feeding the ego of a man who wasn’t serving me with love. When feeding time approached my bucket now empty guess what happened? The beast growled, threw a temper tantrum and soon pouted …. it became about him, his desires, his needs, his place in this world but since I wasn’t feeding him, he turned on me instead and with each hurtful word it made him stronger, with each tear that fell it soothed his thirst.

It was my fault.

I was dried up.

I was not lovable.

I was worthless.

I wasn’t the same person.

I was a bitch.

I failed.

I allowed the insults to hit like little daggers, internalizing every word to be true when in fact, it was far from the truth. But I was weakened, exhausted, drained and back in the shadows.

Remember, a person can throw many evil, hurtful, cutting words your way but that’s their life force, without that their ego which was once being feed by outside forces is now starting to feast on them. They grow mad, irritable and that’s when the beast starts to emerge. Just know that It’s the validation that they seek, they need us to validate what they are truly lacking within their soul and it’s not our job to save them, or fix them.

It’s their own responsibility to make the journey within and want to really face that beast head on and defeat it.

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