To be honest, when I first heard of sexual healing I couldn’t help but think of the deep soulful voice of Marvin Gaye bringing me into a moment of fantasy filled with intimacy, sex, power and eroticism while he sings one of his all time famous hits Sexual Healing.
As of late the term Sacred Intimate and Tantric Healer has been making their way across my path which obviously peaked my curiosity. I’ve heard of sex therapists but never a sacred intimate, I’ve heard of tantra/tantric but never a tantric healer.
I’ve read that many who have had sexual trauma or abuse, struggle with sex addiction, sexual challenges or have issues with their sexuality do go in search of a Sacred Intimate, Daka(M) / Dakini (F) – a tantric guide– who can provide a template of loving, trustworthy male (or female) sexual touch that can allow women/men to release apprehensions and fears around sexual intimacy. Sexual intimates focus on the body, emotions, eros and spirit.
They approach sexuality with the understanding that it’s related to soul work and to spirituality. They use mindfulness and integrity to help people identify, embrace and practice desire as holy, sexual embodiment as an expression of the soul. They hold the body as scared and view erotic energy as a crucial component of human life and spiritual health. -Don Shewey
This past year has been about me embracing my divine feminine, embracing passion, embracing love, embracing possibilities. Yet when I’ve entertained the thought of a partner I notice that I start becoming anxious at the idea of sharing in an intimate sexual encounter. To some, this might sound bizarre but even though I’ve healed and cleared unwanted energies that clung to me due to events from past relationships one moment in time has sunk its claws deep within and refuses to let go. The the anxiety, the anxiousness, the panic is what keeps me from fully becoming who I am meant to be.
In this case, time doesn’t heal old wounds and what I experienced many years ago at the hands of my ex-husband just keeps showing up unexpectedly. In one aspect, I am content with being alone but if someone special comes into my life I feel that it’s not another persons job to show me that I can trust in a genuine touch, to show me gentleness, to show me intimacy, it’s no ones responsibility to patch up what was torn apart during a moment of complete and utter evilness.
So, that’s why I feel that finding a sacred intimate or a tantric healer would fully allow for myself to overcome the fear of intimacy and to unleash the sacred goddess that’s trapped within. Before that incident I loved sex, I loved exploring and just being connected and intimate with my partner. I want to be that person again – I long to be that person again. But there’s just so many different modalities and tantric healers out there that I will definitely do my research before I dive into fully allowing myself to succumb to the touch of another.
If you are looking for serious healing, or if you are a serious student of tantra, you want a serious teacher. There are quite a few “hobbyist” practitioners out there… men who have done some training (or in some unfortunate cases, have only read an article that described yoni massage), but never committed to this as a profession. Not being devoted to tantra as a vocation doesn’t mean a practitioner isn’t fully qualified, but it is a warning sign that they might not be ready for a more challenging session.
A Tantric massage is the centerpiece of tantric healing. This is a perfect choice for those seeking pleasure and relaxation. It is often a useful modality for learning more about your body, about subtle energy, and about your potential for pleasure, connection, and intimacy. This can include traditional massage, but also sensual touch and, depending on the practitioner’s style, some combination of energy movement, guidance around mindfulness, and coaching of breath, sound, or motion. The usual expectation is there will be intimate touch (at least external, and optionally internal) and the sexual energy that accompanies it. However, this is not always the case: some dakas and dakinis use sexual energy without sexual touch as a rule. A true daka or dakini will include practices involving energy, breath, gaze, sounding or mindfulness as part of the session.
A Tantric Healing is often another term for tantric massage. When someone in the tantra world talks about a “healing session,” they generally mean a particular flavor of tantric massage. The difference is in the intention of healing — which can encompass physical, emotional, energetic or spiritual healing. Tantric healing often uses sexual energy as a healing tool, but can include a much broader range of energy and shamanic work.
A Yoni Massage, “Lingam Massage are massages involving intimate touch. ‘Yoni’ is a tantric term for the female genitalia, ‘lingam’ for the male. They are not necessarily separate experiences from a tantric massage, but they may indicate more emphasis on the intimate touch.
An Awakening session is directed to those who have struggled with discovering their true sexual selves and want to explore their desires in greater detail.
So, well see ….. but for those that are interested in learning more just search online but follow your gut. Not all sexual intimates or tantric healers are who they claim to be so do your research. Safety first.
Pleasure is your birthright.